The Holiday Spread

Avoiding the Holiday Spread

By Suzette Glasner-Edwards

Illustration: Serge Bloch

Ahhh, the good cheer, the family gatherings, the gift giving—and the extra pound or two that appears just in time for New Year's. Suzette Glasner-Edwards's "assertive dieting" techniques will help you survive the season with no pain and, best of all, no gain.

"It's the holidays. I can always restart my regular eating habits come January." Whether my patients say it or hear it from others, that sentiment can sabotage smart eating plans. And it helps explain why this time of year marks the beginning of irrevocable weight gain. Research published in the New England Journal of Medicine suggests that while people tack on only about a pound at the holidays, they don't lose it—the gain just stays through the winter and accumulates, year after year.

To avoid that trap, you'll need to gird yourself against the temptations at parties and family dinners. That's where assertive dieting comes in: I teach my patients how to anticipate problems and effective ways to say no—and mean it. The decision to give in to or resist an impulse often comes down to a split second. Taking charge in that moment with grace is a skill that requires preparation, rehearsal, and a handful of strategies that you can use in any social situation.

Practice "No"

Well-meaning friends and relatives will go to what often feels like malicious lengths to get you to overeat. Some of the pressure is understandable. After all, food has become mixed up with demonstrations of affection; think of not just holidays but weddings, bar mitzvahs, and even wakes—they all prominently feature food. As a result, rejecting a second helping can feel as if you're rejecting a loved one. Cathleen Adams, a systems analyst in Los Angeles who has dieted on and off throughout her life, knows that feeling well. "It's very hard for me to say no to anyone. Finding ways of doing it without hurting people's feelings has been a challenge."

Jeffery Anne Bellows, a mother of three who lives in Denver, feels guilty when declining a home-cooked meal. "If someone has gone to a lot of trouble to make a special dinner, I don't want her to think I didn't like it," says Bellows. That worry has led to some regrettable diet lapses for her.

Adams uses a technique I teach: practicing assertive statements. Working on this with dieting buddies or other supportive friends is a great way to build the skill. Alternatively, you can polish your assertive style in front of the mirror. The trick is to strike the right note—regardless of how someone's offer of food may feel, their intentions are usually pure. I recommend people comment on how delicious the food looks and recognize the effort that went into preparing it: "Wow, that looks fabulous! You must have spent a lot of time making it." And yes, definitely practice until you find a way to sound natural and convincing—"I think I'll pass this time," for example.

Put Your Needs First

You don't gain immunity from peer pressure when you graduate from high school. Studies have found that even adults feel the need to conform, and it's so automatic that it barely enters our conscious thought. Many of my patients report that fear of attracting attention or having to explain that they're dieting has led them to make food choices that are inconsistent with their goals.

I tell my would-be assertive dieters that weight and health goals have to take precedence over the reactions and feelings of others. When Adams senses her willpower wavering, she reminds herself about her family's history of diabetes and weight problems, both of which make her concerns about offending a friend seem insignificant. With those priorities in mind, she can trump her need to please others and politely decline.

Letting go of others' opinions has been another valuable technique for Bellows. Even though it makes her feel self-conscious, she'll typically eat only half of what she's served. "I've noticed that people overserve their guests, the same way restaurants do," Bellows says. She puts the fork down and resists eating more by telling herself, 'This doesn't work with my calorie count for the day; I'm just going to stop, and that's of primary importance.'

If you still feel as if saying no puts you in the spotlight, you're probably overestimating how much attention others are paying. I like to remind my patients that at social gatherings, most people—hosts included—are too busy socializing to see what other partygoers are eating. And even if someone does take notice, successful assertive dieters learn to shrug it off. Bellows' daughter, Anne, a project director in Los Angeles, maintains a "so what" attitude by reminding herself of the most important asset she brings to any social event: herself. "Coming to the party, having fun, and being me is what matters, not what I eat when I'm there."

Make a Plan

Turkey and stuffing? Check. Mashed potatoes, check. Pie, check. Within reason, you know what will be on the table before you arrive for most big meals, and if you're not sure, call ahead. Then you'll be able to sit down ahead of time and plan out what—and how much—you can eat. (Be sure to save a few calories for the unexpected treat just in case someone offers your own personal kryptonite—egg nog, say, or pecan pie.) This is a great assertive dieting tactic you can employ year-round. Before dining out, Bellows sometimes looks up a restaurant menu online and decides in advance what to order. When she's at the restaurant, she requests a to-go container when the food arrives so that when she hits her portion limit she can immediately pack away the leftovers. At a large holiday gathering, the food will be sitting in front of you for a while, but with a little preparation you can make sure you don't overload your plate. If you're at a buffet, prior to serving yourself, scan the selections carefully for what you can eat to squelch impulsive food choices. And assertive dieters tell themselves that the first selections are final; no going back for seconds.

Having lost 63 pounds, Bellows now knows she can learn something new from every experience, even if she does make an error. And her experience has taught her that the most important thing is to be forgiving: "There are times when you'll succumb to the temptation and times that you won't. But beating yourself up about it will only make you eat more."

Suzette Glasner-Edwards, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and researcher at UCLA.

Related Resources

• 4 ways to put your diet first
• One-bite-at-a-time diet makeovers
• Can't shed pounds? Try these foods
• Healthy 10-minute meals

From the December 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

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• Tips For Enjoying Holidays Without Weight Gain (slideshare.net)

Stop Smoking - The Easiest Way to Kick the Habit

Many people try to stop smoking and fail. There are actually a number of ways to kick the habit easily, but they all take determined self-will, a willingness to succeed, and a desire to want to stop smoking. Many people think that they can just quit smoking 'cold turkey,' and never return to another cigarette. This method of quitting is probably one of the most difficult as there is a high chance for reverting back to the bad smoking habit; yet quitting the smoking habit can be done by those who are determined to do it. That being said, there are plenty of easier ways to kick the diehard habit that one should consider if he or she is looking to get away from a nicotine addiction.

Hypnotherapy for Smoking Habits

One of the easiest ways to quit smoking

is to use hypnotherapy to give you the drive and will power to succeed. There are actually several professional hypnotherapists that are actually in your own town or local area that can help transform your mind to make it think that it doesn't want a cigarette. Self-hypnosis is also another option for those who desire to kick the habit on their own. Both of these hypnotherapy options for smoking, though, rely on a technique that involves concentrated relaxation. Your mind focuses on the problem at hand, smoking, and the major goal is to imagine yourself as a non-smoker and putting down the cigarettes.

The Nicotine Patch

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There are actually several other types of nicotine medications that doctors prescribe for people who are trying to quit smoking. These options include Nicorette, which is nicotine gum, nicotine nasal spray, nicotine inhalers, and nicotine lozenges. All of these stop smoking aids are designed to not only lessen your cravings with also decrease withdrawal symptoms from cigarettes. For example, if you decided to quit smoking cold turkey then you could use one of these medications to help you succeed.

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Another way that can be really effective to stop smoking and leave the smoking habit forever is to gather up enough will power to set down your cigarettes and never touch them again. The process of mind over matter simply involves facing the fear you have about what will happen if you stop smoking, dealing with the fear and feelings that go with it, and taking action to get rid of the problem. The psychology of action can be powerful not only for your self-esteem when you succeed in kicking the smoking habit, but also for future situations where you need incredible will power to get something done!

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Vaccines on Horizon for AIDS, Alzheimer's, Herpes

Associated Press
Linda A. Johnson

Malaria. Tuberculosis. Alzheimer's disease. AIDS. Pandemic flu. Genital herpes. Urinary tract infections. Grass allergies. Traveler's diarrhea. You name it, the pharmaceutical industry is working on a vaccine to prevent it.

Many could be on the market in five years or less.

Contrast that with five years ago, when so many companies had abandoned the vaccine business that half the U.S. supply of flu shots was lost because of factory contamination at one of the two manufacturers left.

Vaccines are no longer a sleepy, low-profit niche in a booming drug industry. Today, they're starting to give ailing pharmaceutical makers a shot in the arm.

The lure of big profits, advances in technology and growing government support has been drawing in new companies, from nascent biotechs to Johnson & Johnson. That means recent remarkable strides in overcoming dreaded diseases and annoying afflictions likely will continue.

"Even if a small portion of everything that's going on now is successful in the next 10 years, you put that together with the last 10 years (and) it's going to be characterized as a golden era," says Emilio Emini, Pfizer Inc.'s head of vaccine research.

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Unlike medicines that treat diseases, vaccines help prevent infections by revving up the body's natural immune defenses against invaders. They are made from viruses, bacteria or parts of them that have been killed or weakened so they generally can't cause an infection.

Investment in partnerships and other deals to develop and manufacture vaccines has been on a tear -- and accelerating since the swine flu pandemic began. Billions in government grants are bringing better, faster ways to develop and manufacture vaccines. Rising worldwide emphasis on preventive health care, plus the advent of the first multibillion-dollar vaccines, have further boosted their appeal.

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